The Chico's Hipster Equation

so today I realized just how closely much of the hipster fashion trends are with what 60+ women are wearing, but first i must tell explain how i came to this realization:

so for some reason many adults in my parents lives (boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancees, friends, family members, etc.) have felt the need to buy me things in order to win over my affection. recently one of my dad's friend's very generously gave me a box from chico's containing a purple sweater hoodie and a shirt that says "love" "peace" "enjoyment" and other words like that all over it with a giant heart in the middle, that says "love" in the middle of it. i hate to say that these two gifts were ugly so im just gonna say that they were not my taste, remotely. so my mom decided that since im around this week we should go return this gift. we first get there and are greeted by the sound of the alarm going off. my mom walks over to a women who we assume works there and explains how we got these items as a gift and would liek to exchange them. the women replies "oh im sorry our alarm is malfunctioning we should be up and running in a little while." no biggie. we go to a nearby diner and get lunch (omlettes - they were kinda mediocre). we go back and the same woman who told us about the alram says "oh! you ladies came back.... leave what youre looking to exchange with me and ill figureo ut what we can do." alright. i look around and am greeted with a barage of bright colors. it seems like this store only sells neon and bright colored things. weird, but ill make it work. i figure that the two items im returning won't yeild me much money so i start looking at price tags, (keep in mind almost everyhting there was "on sale"). i figure i'll look at accesories siince they're usually pretty cheap and usually fairly consistant from store to store, i start with the belts, apparently chico's only sells belts that i would never dream of wearing that cost $65. Great. i look at clothing. i know chico's target audience isn't 19 year old college students, but i look anyway. and that's when i see it. the clothing here is so over the top and vaguely 80's, that a 19 year old college student might wear it. all of these indicators lead me to think jsut how closely linked the clothing of 60+ year old women is nearly identical to that of male and female hipsters. the only difference being the pants. while the chico's crowd enjoys loose fitting comfortable yet stylish capri's the hipster will seemingly exclusively wear the skinny jean. i guess this equation seems kind of obvious since hipsters frequently wear vintage clothing that the chico's crowd would have worn when it was first in fashion, but what would make them want to still wear it now? are hipster's still going to wear skinny jeans when they become the 60+ group? or will the opt for the more comfotable clothing that chico's offers? in the meantime, hipsters, do not waste your money in overpriced vintage shops, simply steal your grandparents clothing.



side note: i wound up getting a pair of bright blue sunglasses with leopard print on the side and $4 cash. hipster- ish much? wouldn't your grandma also wear them? my point exactly.
side note 2: these sunglasses were the cheapest items in the store and pretty much all i could afford to exchange as i only got money for the sweatshirt. apparently the awesome shirt was a freebee so they wouldn't take it. maybe i can find a hipster friend who might like it...

reading material

ever since i finished finals and my first year of college, i have been reading tucker max stories. my friend Jess showed me his website two weekends ago by reading me his "famous 'sushi pants' story." the following week i was distracted with studying for finals and thankfully didn't really explore his site until i was done.
tucker max is a writer who posts stories of the crazy exploits he's engaged in, these include serious levels of debauchery that make frat boys everywhere blush. he is a self proclaimed asshole and even states it right off the bat on his site. he introduces it as follows:

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.

I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.

But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way. I share my adventures with the world. They are known as:

The Tucker Max Stories

he then proceeds to list some of his best and most well-known stories. ive read almost all the ones he's listed and they're all bananas in their own unique way. in each story the fact that tucker is an asshole and should not be able to get away with the stuff he does crosses your mind at least a dozen times, but nonetheless you keep reading. with each story your impression of him starts out at animal house wannabe and degrades from there. having read most of his so called "classics" i can safely say that as much as he is an asshole, he is also a genius (at least at writing). his stories are riddled with as many masogynistic elements as they have pop culture and historical references including a very accurate comparison to himself and Phinus Gage. Tucker's stories are so outrageous that they make you question their validity. i think they must have some element of truth in them because i just don't think any human is that creative. In short, they're some of the most entertaining things i've ever read, thank God i didn't seriously start reading them last week, or i would've failed all of my finals.